In the heart

Early decisions can make for some challenging moments throughout life. I encountered a poem when I was thirteen. I’ve no idea who wrote it, or which magazine it was in – I suspect it was in Chronicle of the Horse but I’m not sure now. Definitely it wasn’t in any of the glossy teen garbage that I bought occasionally, and it wasn’t in a school book. Chronicle of the Horse was the only magazine I subscribed to and at that time it was black-and-white slightly better than newsprint quality. I think the poem was on paper like that. I do not remember the entire poem either, which is most unfortunate. It went something like this:

Hold all life tenderly

Lovingly

But not in an embrace

For that is limiting

Hold only in the heart

There was more to it than that and I wish I could do more now to credit the author and publication.

At that transitional age, 13, I saw that grasping someone - the embrace – was no guarantee of keeping them. I have the memory that the poem implied the opposite. Love required allowing the loved one to go. I decided several things more or less at that same time. I would love my loves in my heart and get out of the way if they chose to leave, and that I would not accept a guy who ditched someone else for me, on the premise that if he’d leave one for another, he’d leave me eventually too. I decided I would not compete with another to “get” someone. Instead, I would hold each love only in my heart, and that is where they are.